Learning to
control premature ejaculation without the use of drugs or
desensitizers involves learning to read the signals your body is
giving you, knowing when you are about to ejaculate, and pulling
back from that point. The technique below is my variation on the
common “start/stop technique”. Before you begin you should take
some time to understand the basics of premature ejaculation, a
bit about male sexual response, and what Kegel exercises are.
Time
Required:
The most
important part of these exercises is to practice (daily if
possible).
Here's How:
1.
Use a stroking technique.
Begin masturbating by stroking your penis up and down. This is
the best method for these exercises as it most closely
approximates penetration. Don’t think about premature
ejaculation or trying to last longer. Just pay attention to the
physical sensations in your penis and pelvic area as your
masturbating.
2.
Try to notice the “tickling” sensation prior to ejaculation.
As you get close to ejaculation pay particular attention to the
physical sensations in your body. Try to notice the “tickling”
sensation that occurs just before you ejaculate. Once you know
what that feeling is like, you can concentrate on the feelings
that occur just before this stage, when it is still possible to
stop ejaculation.
3.
Get comfortable recognizing the “tickling” sensation.
Continue masturbating without trying to last longer or think of
anything special. Just pay close attention to how your body
feels as you become more excited, and to recognizing the
“tickling” feelings. Do this for at least the next three times
you masturbate. Don’t stop yourself from ejaculating, just try
to recognize the “tickling” feeling, and the feeling in your
body just before the tickling feeling.
4.
Start and stop masturbating to learn control.
Once you can tell when the “tickling” sensation is going to come
you’re ready to begin the exercises. Try to avoid fantasizing
more than necessary, and don’t use lubricant or sex toys while
doing these exercises (they’re great, but they’ll come later).
5.
Begin stimulation while paying close attention to the physical sensations
in your body.
Masturbate until you start to feel turned on and have an
erection. Then stop the stimulation for at least 15 seconds and
concentrate on the feelings of decreasing excitement in your
body. Notice how your penis and pelvic area feel, and how that
changes when you stop stimulation. Notice how the rest of your
body feels.
6.
Continue until you get close to the “tickling” sensation.
Begin to masturbate again, and continue to start and stop
periodically until you feel you are getting as close to the
“tickling” stage as possible. When you feel yourself getting
close stop until you feel you are back in control. Some men find
that doing and
Kegel squeezes helps
them get back in control.
7.
Don't worry if you lose your erection.
You may lose your erection when you stop the stimulation, but
just start again. You may need to use fantasy to get excited
again, but once you're turned on, try to focus on your body.
Bring yourself close to the tickling point three times. After
this you can just masturbate until you ejaculate.
8.
Pay close attention to your body, and repeat this exercise daily.
You may find it difficult to do these exercises at first. You
may lose your erection, your mind may wander, you might get
bored. But try to stay with it, and practice this daily. As you
do, two things will happen. First, the length of time you have
to wait to regain control will gradually decrease. Second, the
length of time you can continue stimulation between stops will
increase.
9.
Visualize your sexual response.
Look at the diagram on this page which gives a visual
representation of the start and stop technique. Each time you
stop stimulating yourself try to picture your body responding as
if on this graph.
10.
Build up the number of times you stop.
Increase the number of times you stop stimulating yourself until
you have reached six. Once you can do the entire exercise (
stimulating yourself just before the “tickling” point, stopping
stimulation until you regain control, and then starting again)
six times, begin to practice this daily.
11.
Use a good lubricant.
Once you’re feeling confident with the exercises, and are able
to stop six times, you can increase the stimulation, and the
usefulness of the exercises by using a good oil or water based
personal lubricant. Because this is only for masturbation, an
oil based lubricant is fine to use (but not safe for use with
condoms, and not recommended for use in vaginal penetration).
12.
Using the lubricant to simulate penetration, start the exercise.
As before, stimulate yourself as closely as possible to the
point of ejaculation and then stop until control is regained.
Begin by stopping three times before going on to ejaculate, then
gradually increase the number of stops to six per session.
13.
Once you feel comfortable, include a partner.
If you are in a relationship, ultimately you need to bring your
partner into the exercises. Don’t rush this, but once you feel
confident with your ability to know when to stop and wait until
you regain control, you can involve your partner in the
exercises.
Tips:
1.
Don’t ever try to stop ejaculation once it has begun. If you go
past that point, just let yourself ejaculate.
2.
Try to use fantasy only as much as you need to. Because of the
starting and stopping, you might need it to get yourself aroused
again, but once you are turned on, try to focus back on your
body and how it feels.
3.
If you usually masturbate by rubbing your pelvis against
something, try to use a stroking method. For these exercises,
this makes it easier. If you have to change your usual method
for the exercises, take a few sessions to get comfortable with
this new method.
4.
Some men find Kegel exercises help them both by increasing their
knowledge of their sexual response, but also the Kegel squeezing
can return a feeling of control when you are approaching the
point of no return.
5.
As you go on to each new step you may find yourself losing some
of the control you have developed. This will happen, but if you
keep practicing you’ll continue to progress.
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